Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't deserve a penis
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
