would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
And then my night got REAL pukey
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
