what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
