Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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