what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
