My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize