the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
