I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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