all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
