If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
