alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
