Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
