We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
