Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
