Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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