ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
