Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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