I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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