The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
