Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
