I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
