Quick, to the slutcave!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
