I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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