margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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