Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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