I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
