So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
