So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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