i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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