i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize