Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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