Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
