Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You took a bar mat shot.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
