i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
