We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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