I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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