Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
