everyone is single if you try hard enough
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
