Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
