Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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