Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
