**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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