shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
