How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My vagina just clenched in fear
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
