Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
