thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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