party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
the liver wants what the liver wants
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize