Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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