I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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