i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize