guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
