I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If I die, sorry about rent.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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