I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
