Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
