His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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