btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
