Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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